Weird and Wacky Facts

Darrens team had the time and energy to pose for pics at a restroom stop...unlike us. They went on to win the relay.

About Running Long Distance Relays

1. When you’re an all womens team with a combined total of 25 children amongst you, then a 13 hr relay becomes all about the nearest bathroom. Indeed, one can rename the event: “The Great Restroom Hunt”. We used the toilets at Sinalei Resort BEFORE we started running at 3am. Then for the remainder of the day we employed a variety of bathroom tactics. Relatives homes. Complete strangers homes. Backpacker beach fale bathrooms. And of course, au natural jungle bathrooms. Relay organizers had asked permission of the LDS church to use their chapels restroom facilities. They had graciously acquiesced and so ten different chapels were opened in the wee hours of the morning for runners to use. I can (proudly?) say, that I have used every single LDS church bathroom from Siumu to Apia. Some of them more than once. Indeed, our team video seems to be about six women OBSESSED with the location of the next restroom…’how far is it?’ where is it?’ how much longer till we get there? I just finished running - I need to go bathroom... Im running next - I need to go bathroom first...

2. For a distance relay,you need a vehicle to transport the team. And all their STUFF. Youve heard about women and all the STUFF they cram in their handbags right? Well, thats nothin compared to six women and how much STUFF they can cram in their van. Riddled with nervous anticipation, each of us (of course) overpacked. Over stocked. Over supplied. Over prepared. All that much overdoing it equalled one heck of an overloaded van. We had enough ice for a small army. And then some. We had gallons of gatorade.Buckets of water. Everybody had three changes of clothes. ( at least). And two pairs of running shoes. Spare socks. Towels. Sponges.Toilet paper ( the very finest). Three first aid kits. (we could have provided rescue services to everybody in the race)And the food! Darren said "take high powered quick energy snacks, like a banana. A chocolate bar. A spoonful of honey." HA. Together we six had a BUNCH of bananas. And bags of candy. And forget the spoonful of honey - maybe such meagre stuff is fine for skinny elite runners, but we mountain climbing/baby feeding/desperate housewife types required more adequate replenishment. Like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Ham and cheese. Ritz crackers. Twizzlers. Licorice. ( cant get much more energy than that) Trail mix. Dried fruit assortments. (We should have set up a quick stop grocery shop along the way and scored some extra cash for the after race party.) There was barely enough room in the van for the runners. And their cramped aching legs to stretch out. NEXT time? We're taking a bus. Or maybe a container truck.

We Have a Dream

Over one hundred kilometers of road. Six runners. Running from sun up to sundown. Through rainforest and along sandy beaches. Traversing potholes and jagged rocks. Evading vicious village dogs and other assorted equally vicious animals ( heck have you checked out a Samoan pig lately?!) Assailing the imposing Le Mafa Pass. Negotiating winding deserted roads and then dodging maniacal Samoan drivers on the crowded coastal road from Saoluafata to town. Through sun, rain, gnats, mozzies,dust - not to mention jeering onlookers eager to witness your suffering.... Are you interested?!

In two weeks I will be one of a team of six women who will take on the Samoa Perimeter Relay that starts from Sinalei Resort, follows the coast past Aleipata, over the inland mountain range and then to the coast again from Piula to Apia with a grand finale finish line in front of the government building. Each runner will run four legs of the course. Each leg is about 5k ( three miles or twelve laps of the track.) A van will transport the team, following the runner until the passing of the baton. There are 12 teams doing the relay altogether. Teams have a staggered start depending on how long you estimate it will take your team to complete the event. Our team wil begin the relay at 3am because it will take us approx 13 hours to complete. If all goes according to plan ( and prayers and hopes and wishful thinking) we will roll into town at 5pm.

We've called ourseves the Dream Team...because we're a bunch of dreamers ( who are obviously slightly unhinged) rather than a team of elite runners. All of us are mothers with a combined total of twenty six children among us and several grandchidren. The oldest Dream Teamer is in her fifties, the youngest is 30. One of us is still 'providing nourishment' to an infant...her husband has been drafted to follow behind the team van with the aforementioned infant so she can be fed regularly during the 13 hour trek. Only one of us can be called an 'athlete' - she won gold at the recent South Pacific Games for Archery. The rest of us are newcomers to running ( or staggering depending on the duration of a training session!) Kristen is the powerhouse of the team. She runs her own preschool - so you know she's loaded with energy and positivity - and we're relying on her to drive us to the finish with sheer will power! Unfortunately, shes also slightly injured, struggling with a bad case of plantar fascitis. However, shes promised to take all manner of illicit drugs to make sure she can handle the journey. ( tons of diet coke will be consumed i assume) She does make the best brownies so we're counting on those to also power us to the end.

Pualele is the Fast and the Furious. Just call her Usane Bolt. She can run like the wind...forever, clocking a 26 minute 5k on a good day. Unlike the rest of us, she can only train once a week and still run circles around us...and around us...and around us. We are confident that should any of us get injured on the day, Pualele can take over and run EVERYBODYS leg ( and then we'd prob clock a team time twice as fast)

Manu is the Mega Mother of the team. Baby has her up at 3am? No problem. Manu's still there at a 5am training session. Shes strong and determined - one of the most comitted to daily training. Shes cut a wicked five minutes off her time since we started preparations several months ago.

Pat has several years of experience over the rest of us - giving her that edge on the running track. She can take on no less than TWO consecutive 5ks every morning, running with a golf stick to deter dogs. Shes been visiting her grandchildren in the USA over the last 3 weeks - so she's been getting in some awesome 'high altitude' training.

Runner number five is still undecided between two equally amazing women...Leaving me at runner number six. Im the slowest. And the un-fittest. ( is there such a word) Which makes me the craziest OR the most courageous of the team ( depending on your perspective lol) I am not and never have been, a runner in any size, shape or form. Eight months ago, i couldnt power walk five minutes without hyper ventilating. But now i can shuffle-run five miles without stopping. I have my ipod ready with all the motivating sounds i need. I have sexy adidas running shorts and several bold red team uniform shirts ( thereby guaranteeing that at least I'll look good while im dying out there) Ive stolen darrens adidas running sunglasses - perfect for the sun, wind and gnats problem. The Fabulous Five continue to encourage me in my daily training efforts..."Mum, if you eat any more of those cinnamon rolls you'll throw up when you go running today - dont u think thats enough?" and "Dont worry mum, we'll come to the finish line to cheer for you - even if its after midnight - we'll be there." What more could i ask for?!

So ...come what may, the Dream Team is ready for the experience of a lifetime.

Call me Crazy

OKay - so everyone who knows me know that Im NOT a runner in any shape, form or size. Im just married to one. However, for some obscure and strange reason, I have just entered myself and FIVE fabulous friends in a 64 mile Samoa Perimeter Relay which will take place on the 29th of August. The Relay begins before the crack of dawn out at Sinalei Resort on the other side of the island, loops around Lalomanu, following the coast until it ends up back in Apia for a grand finale finish in front of the Govt building in the dead of night. For those who are elite athletes...they will prob get back into town in plenty of time to enjoy the welcome crowds, the festivities, the banquets, the Prime Ministers speech and peak Teuila Festival atmosphere.

For the rest of us wackos who are doing the relay because we're just crazy/dumb/suckers for punishment - we'll probably stagger into town either at midnight and be lucky if a nightclub is still open to give us a celebratory drink...or (heaven forbid) crawl into town in the wee hours of Sunday morning, just in time to make it to church at 7:30am. We have yet to decide on a name for ourselves - Dream Team does come to mind...as in we are dreaming desperately that we will be able to do this without ripping ourselves to shreds. And yet, in the midst of existentially examining our sanity for doing this, i find myself vaguely excited. Thrilled. I mean - how many of us can say that we have done (or will do...or have tried to do) a 64 mile race? I have a husband with a company offering to sponsor our team. Im 36 years old. The mother of five super children. Im healthy. I run five days a week. Very slowly to be sure. I have five awesome friends all willing to sign up for the adventure of a lifetime...so why shouldnt i dream!?

We will have a van stocked to bursting with appropriate snacks and drinks ( brownies, pizza and ice cream comes to mind...but then so does throwing it all up on the road somewhere between here and Aleipata). We will have a rockin sound system blasting each runners personal sound track as she runs along. A sexy - I mean sensible running team uniform. Several changes of it for when we are soaking wet with sweat...blood...tears. We will have an able driver and co-driver to navigate the roads for us...hopefully scaring away the village dogs and pigs and avoiding the curious children who will come out to throw rocks at us - I mean come out to cheer for us. We will each run four legs of the course and rest in between with ice and diet coke - make that ice and powerade.

We will do lots of laughing. And talking. And cheering. And commiserating. And maybe a little crying. (whats a chick fest without some tears) And all in all - we will have a great time, and be raging road warriors who can take on anything else life has to throw at us. (just let us rest and recover for a few weeks afterwards.)But i must halt here. And get my big butt out there for a run. Because its 3 months and 6 days away...